I Define loving myself #herselflove so strong, not so giving, has absolutely no patience. I’m sad, shy, full of laughter, and goofy at times. #herselflove can also be mean, firm, blunt, cold hearted and dishonest with self at times. #herselflove has a dedication to a cause but yet her distraction grows near. #fear then becomes the need, not the want. Stress creeps in and she then becomes a friend to that abuse breaking down her mind. Placed in a maze while blazed that then became complicated. But #herselflove overcame. she became her image, fell in love with a season somewhere between summer and fall, that feeling of that cause, in which she gave her all, she found #herselflove. She threw out the bad, and negativity. She gave encouragement and reassurance to self. She found #herselflove. She focused on her beliefs that became her destiny.
Almost a decade ago there was a survey done between stay at home mums, and in-dependent mums 45% of women were declared independent (age range between 35 and 50) after years and years that number Percentage has increased with women in today’s society. 75% of women are forced to be independent, Again you are more than welcome to correct me if I’m ever wrong and truth be told that 75% may just be a base number. Due to my research I’m putting the number at 75%. Women are forced to be single mums by the very society that were suppose to trust, I did tell myself , I will not go in full detail on this blog, However the truth is the truth. Women are being forced to be independent, single mums. Fathers are being thrown in jail and or killed upon police brutality and again that’s the very society that were suppose to trust to protect us Right? Accepting Financial assistant from the Government, there are a few that need assistance such as medicaid, Food stamps Etc. When women take that assistance it forces the male out of the home.
Growing up with my father being at home was a gift, having that relationship with my father made me a better person. I always tell people when they question my natural way of doing things. If it wasn’t for my parents I wouldn’t be the person who I am today. I say all of that to say this
Ladies, we sometimes have to play more than one role and it’s not always by choice. You become forced to be independent you are forced to be Mum and Dad, Is it right? No but you tackle the task at hand. We all have to be on one accord, and encourage each other, I was always told it takes a village to raise a child. So ladies rather were pushed to become the strong, independent Mums, Ladies, Brown Boss Babes that we are, Let’s be great at it. Do things the best of your ability because there are Kings and Queens that are paying attention. Show them that they can become more, they can follow their dreams and be all they can be.
I didn’t get to where I’m at now over night. It came from life experiences… I’m going to get a little personal with my readers because I want you all to understand me and where I have come from. I went through a lot, At 19 I fell in love with a guy, and for the first time. The relationship went on for 8 years. There was good times and bad times, but when it was rough it was ugly. It did a lot of personal damage and scarring inside and it left me confused and shattered.
I doubted myself in everything I did as a woman, I didn’t have belief within myself, I put myself on back burner to make everyone else feel comfortable, loved, reassured so on and so forth. I didn’t have a bone in my body to love myself, I felt useless, dumb, stupid, I called myself ugly, I felt ugly, nothing or no one could tell me other wise, I was damaged, depressed, and heart broken.
Now I don’t know if anyone else ever experienced this, but this was my life for awhile and all I could do was… Hell I’m not going to say pray, because truthfully I didn’t even do that, and I’m just being honest.
Its been a few months since this has ended and its been hard. I’m taking it one day at a time and its been helping. I see myself smiling a little more, I have more mental clarity on life and the separation of fiction and the reality, I didn’t have that at one point, but now I do. I don’t have that irritable attitude anymore, I find comfort in prayer and faith, Yes it hurts because you cant just turn off 8 years of being with someone, but tonight I’ve realized that I have to make peace with the situation within and I’m doing just that. I have places to go and people to meet, I can no longer allow my past to dictate my future
So you see readers from the outer appearance people never know your story, but I wanted to share a story, a true story, my story so you can see there is growth in every negative experience that we may go through in life. It takes a strong mind, Faith and prayer to make it though. It will be hard in the beginning and get even harder, stick it out because there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to believe in yourself, and don’t lose faith.
Often times I’m called nappy head. The one person I hear it from the most is my dad, Yes! out of all people my dad. Me being called nappy head did not offend me in any way, in all actuality it made me discover me, Whitney, A strong willed Black women whom is proud of her natural roots. A women whom is capable in succeeding in everything she endeavors. A woman who looks NO in the eyes and dismisses it out of her face. A woman whom is able to overcome all of the negative hurt and pain in her life. I may have kinks in my hair, high check bones, and a Kool-Aid smile. My hips, and thighs may be full and thick, but who cares? My nappy head makes me. It defined me as a Queen.
Know who you are. Never allow someone else’s opinions to define who you are.
My African ancestors set this platform for me, I’m here to dominate it.
Today was a day of embracing oneself. I got up out of bed, my feet and toes felt like they were floating on clouds, I knew today was going to be a good day. My heart loved me so much, What a feeling I cant explain. My Brown sugar is what I thought to myself, no Ma’am I’m not speaking on the brown sugar that you love so much in your mamas famous bake beans. Baby! I’m talking about the brown sugar I wear so proud, sweet, and loyal. I’m talking about the brown skin I wear so proud. The skin that wraps me so tight, soft, and smooth. I embrace myself and there’s never no shame or shade in it. Women have to learn to love themselves, respect themselves and embrace what they have been given. Have you ever heard that the best love is self love? Learn it, teach it. Women are our future, and when we teach each other self respect, our importance comes in play. We cant compete with each other, things just doesn’t work that way. Women are strong, But women are stronger when we work together.
The twenties are a difficult decade to navigate. It’s a tempestuous time full of transitions that leave many women confused and unsure of themselves and their paths. Twenties Unscripted is a hilarious peek into the life of one 20-something attempting to grow up. Tyece is the captain of Twenties Unscripted. Her distinctive wit and authentic experiences keep readers engrossed. She began the blog after tiring from reading “Top 10 Things To Do In Your Twenties” lists. “I decided to document my journey through the thorny world of twenty-hood, confident in my complete ignorance and irreverence-the ingredients for successful writing, no?” she writes. Twenties Unscripted tackles everything from dating woes to student loans and all of the chaos in-between.